What Defines Us?

Like it or not, right or wrong, I have come to believe that most of us are defined by the tragedies in our lives. Last night this came back to me in a flood.

Eight years ago my wife and I lost our first baby. At about 11 weeks Deb had a miscarriage. The child we had wanted, hoped for, prayed for and already loved was taken from us. She was ripped from our lives and our hearts and while we have other children there is still a hole where Hanna Marie should be.

Last night Deb had some bleeding and immediately both out hearts jumped back eight years. Right now we don't know for sure if everything is OK or not but things look fine initially - only time will tell. What has struck me is how is how much my reactions continue to be defined by the pain of eight years ago. We are each a walking history. We respond to our daily triumphs and tragedies through the filter of our experience. As much as I intellectually know this time is different and this doesn't mean we are losing this baby, my heart is preparing itself for that.

There must be a balance between living bound by my past and living informed by them. I think it is only in community that this balance is found. Last summer I taught a class on the "one another" statements found in Hebrews. There are twenty-some statements that show us how to live in community. I think the culminate in Hebrews chapter 11 when we're given this great list of heroes of the faith and realize that there lives were filled with hardship and tragedy. It was there perseverance in spite of tragedy that got them listed in that "who's who" of faith - not the absence of hardship in their lives. I believe we need to share our stories of triumph and tragedy with each other right along side of those folks listed in Hebrews. Remind each other of the perfect hope we have that lies on the other side of our current darkness.

God, help me to rest on your strength and you eternal perspective not just my earthly one today. Help me to triumph over my tragedies and not be bound by them. Help me connect with others for my support and for theirs.

Thanks for reading,

Practice His Presence
Dan